~SHIRLEY~

Tuesday, November 18, 2008
8:31 AM

She is suffering inside
Struggling in her heart
Perhaps she is used to the life wit him
Is harder than b4
With different goals, different outcome
B4, she noe he will be out
Back to her
But now
Her goals is to forget him
And he will nv back to her
No matter hw long she wait

Sunday, November 16, 2008
1:58 PM

Sry
2day ppl mention abt him again
And i failed
I cried again
Hais ~
Pls dun mention abt him again ba
I dun wan to remember any of my pasts
Take it i am avoiding reality or wad
I just dun wan mention of him again
Thanks

Tuesday, November 11, 2008
1:21 PM

Please ppl !!
Dun let me think of him again
Dun mention him again
I dun wan to think of him again le
I dun wan to make a big fool of myself
I dun wan my story of life become like dat
I wan a change
I wan to be happier
I deserve to be happier
Crying for almost 1 yr le
Let me out
Dun trapped me inside
Give back my happiness
Is dun worth it le
If he love me
He won treat me tis way le
Dun be such a fool
Keep thinking wad will he need
And wad help he wan
He wan to hurt himself
Let him be
Concern for wad
He also nv concern of u
Y u so shameless?
Is this u?
Thought u quite arrogant and love yr face de
Y u become like tat?
So low down ne
When can u stop making the ppl around u to worry
When can u back to yr ownself
PLS dun be such a bitch
Such a slut
Keep holding on to him for wad
HE DUN LOVE U ANYMORE
Wake up

I hate myself
I hate my life
I hate everything

The same thing happen all over again
Ytd was drunk
Drink half bottle of the pure alcohol witout adding any mixture
After drinking it
I loss of vision
Wad i see is totally blur
And lie on the floor
And vomit here and there

In the morning
I realise i did lots of things regretted
Y am i irritating?
Y am i so fan?
Y is he so heartless and cruel to me?
I feel tat i going mad le
Hais
Morning realised my knee got some bruises
And some blue black
Think is cos i drunk le
Keep falling on the floor
My whole jacket become dirty too

I make a big fool of myself
Which makes me find it to turn back
Sorry
The person i wanna apologise to is my cousin
I made her cried on her bday
Hw bad am i?
I am such a bitch
How can did tat?
Living in tis world is like a trouble to others
Keep giving ppl troubles
And keep making fool of myself

Y?
Faster get out of here can?
Hai

Monday, November 10, 2008
12:26 PM

Heihei
I realise the ppl coming to read my blog getting more le ar
Heihei
Dun think i dunno who u r ar
Haiyo
Dun view my blog secretly lei
View le must tag ma =D

Hees
Ppl who concern of me
Dun worry abt me yea
I am fine
And was realli grateful for all yr concern
I LOVE
MY DARLING
MY COUSIN
MY GIRLFRIEND
NEO SHI QI (confirm gt read my blog de)
ROSEBEL
EDDY
TOH YONG WEI
WANG ZHI
FISH
RYAN
EDITH
JEANICE
KAYDENCE
GERALDINE
TAN SI YING
LIM LIN JA
TAN PEI CHING
TRICIA KER YU WEI
CHONG KAILING
XUAN MIN
RACHAEL
AND
....

Haas
Tired of naming out the names
Lol
Pai seh ar
Lol
Ppl who gt view my blog
Must come visit my pushcart next week ar =D
We wan to be a successful businesswomen
Lol

Oooo
Ytd a bad thing happen which realli freak me out
I now understand how worried ppl can be when hearing yr loved one might leave u
Dun say loved ones, friends too
I am so worried
I dun wan lose a friend just in a day time
If i lose him as my friend
I confirm sad de
Cos seriously speaking
I treat him not good as a friend
Yet he nv treat me not good as a friend
Even though sometimes he dun talk nice nice to me
Always suan me de
But when come to i need concern
He will be there

I remember tat time
When he is sad too
Gt the same problem as me
And i am crying non stop
He took cab to find me
But not more than 1 hr
He took cab back le
Is like so waste his money
And plus he is sad too
Yet he still need to concern ppl
To us(SQ team)
I believe everyone treasure him
Even though alson and clarence dunno him tat long
Yet concern of him
Still wanna tak initative to go find him
And to us
We noe he is one of us
Witout him
Everyone will be sad too de
He is always there concern everyone of us
But for me
I feel tat when he is sad
I nv did much to help him
Nv gif him much of my concern too
Feel tat i am quite a failure as a friend
Seeing him suffer yet i cannot stop him
I bet SQ will be equally disappointed too
When seeing him torturing himself de
Ppl
Let work in a team and stay united to help our dear friend carry on wit his life ba
Help him go through tis period ba
I am realli glad i noe such a grp of gd friends in SQ team
Although some ppl there hor
Like fake fake de
Did things aso cos of someone
And nv appreciate the friendship
Like i got come and dun come aso no diff
But is okay na
I still treat u as my friend na
Lol
And all the best for u ar =D

Weee...
Let enjoy our life to the fullest =D
I love u all
Muacks
LOL

Sunday, November 9, 2008
11:50 AM

I make a wrong move again
I should not call him
Should keep it inside my heart

My heart dropped out when hearing the news
Saying he hug wit other gals
I realli cannot believe it is truth
Keep thinking he is doing that purposely
But the problem is tat me and him already solved le
Y he wanna do it purposely?
And cannot be tat person lying to me ba
Hai

He shown me attitude again
Bring 2 gals wit him too
Hais
Dun wanna mention wad happen ba
I will nv wan to patch wit him in this life again
I dun even hab the thought of wanna patch
But y let me noe tis truth
I dun wan to noe the truth
I wan a peace break
Now i noe
U r lying to me
Saying u dun love her
Hais
Forget it le na
We already break le
Wad for i care so much
Keep crying and wanna vomit again
And when i crying, he shouted at me
Hais
Maybe aso gd ba
He wit tat gal
Den he will change back to the goods
And won't did things to hurt himself ba

After tat
Sticks again
And drench in the rain
All wetted
Is raining cats and dogs
I am thinking i am all wetted
Wad u doin now ne?
Isit hugging the gal to slp?
Telling her dun be scare of the thunder?
Lol
Silly me,rite?
Making myself suffer
Yet maybe he is enjoying
Worth it ma?
Forget it le na

Reach home at 6 tis morning
Haven slp yet
Still haven go to my dumb dumb land
Thought ytd will be a happy day for me
Finally able to go out wit cousin
And i dun always cry le
But again tis incident happen
God
Pls be fair to me
Tell Me
Am i so bad hearted
Or did lots of wrong things in life
Den i deserve tis stage?
Or u just wanna make me strong?
Prepare me for the future?
God
Pls tell me wad should i do?
U r one of them i trust most too

I hate him ~

Friday, November 7, 2008
12:26 PM

Now is the start of something new
=D
I will live the best out of it de
Wit so much ppl de support and encouragement
I won let u all down
Especially my sisters and cousin
Of cos not to neglect my friends
Which is
SQ gang =D
My Girlfriend
Ryan(dun say i nv mention u)
My kors
My family
My classmates
My workmates
And more =D
Love u all lots lots

Thanks u all for being there to listen to my wailing
And now i am feeling better le
Cos i noe well me and him is impossible
Perhaps i can think in a gd way
Is a chance to get out of my trap
And get my happiness
I dun wanna be a pigeon mentioned
Trapped in the cage
North,south,east, west
Also cannot get out
Now i am free =D

Was pretty sad when u treat me not the same
But is okay na
I still gt all my dearest friends wit me
And i am not the worst case yet
Still gt eddy tis guy
Hais ~
Dunno hw to make him stay tall again
WORRIED !!!
Hope all my friends will nv leave me
I hate seeing ppl leaving me
Especially leaving in tis world
And i won get to see him or her again
So hope Eddy's health can take it
And dun cos of a rs
Wasted a life
Since the other party dun appreciate wad we did
Den let dun waste time le ba

All i can said is we tried le
We does get hurts too
Though we dun mind getting more hurts
But they mind
We also cannot force them to dun mind too ar
We only can blame ourselves for loving them too deep
But not blaming them for not loving us that deep
Maybe i am the lucky one
Cos tis round i am not the one saying break
Or else i dun dare to face the person i break wit
Seeing him so sad must be miserable too
So let all be friends ba

Witout Bf
Is nth to me =)
Only friend matters

Tuesday, November 4, 2008
10:32 PM

Everything ended
Met him out 2day
Wanna to noe the true ans
We ended

And i won contact him anymore le
I gave up
Gave up on any hopes left within my heart
Throughly NUMBED
We hugged and he gif me a last kiss in my forehead
Will remember it de
After he left
I cried loudly
Dun wanna let him noe hw bitterly i cried
And i vomited too

Health is failing tis period
Not i wanna be optimistic
Is realli failing
I keep having gastric pain everyday
And everytime i cried too aggressively
I vomited
Hais
Dunno when can my health last

I am sry my friends, my loved ones
For giving u all a hard time tis period
Believe me
I will be strong and go through tis de
I will prove to u all
I have grown up le
Thanks lin jia and Siying
They are the ones who keep supporting me
Holdin on to me
If not cos of my friends
I think i might collapse

Sisters
U all are my love
Love u always
I promise my love for u all will nv end
Cos we won't be like rs
Break le jiu no more le
We will hab everlasting sisterhood de =)
Tat my wish for my 16th bday =0
Opps
I accidently say tat
But seriously
U all mean a lot to me too =)

And sry for neglecting u
When i gt bf
I promise i will change de
See and accept my changes,okay?
LOVE ALL MY FRIENDS

Shirley is going to be strong =)
No longer a baby
Since her papa dun wan her le

Sunday, November 2, 2008
10:46 PM

Love life start to blossom
Nowaday ppl toldin me he love me
Or ppl tak number from me
And
Luck start to change for the better
But heart is still aching everyday
A hole in my heart
No matter hw much guys like me
It does not touches me
Cos i am too deep into love wit him
Hais
I am feeling so so miserable
All my head is him him him

Everyday keep bugging and begging for kor to let me use com
All to see whether he online or not
Hais
And keep askin ppl to takcarrie of him
I am so worried he is suffering
Or do something to hurt himself
But i am there to hurt myself
Hais
Keep havin gastric constantly
But i hack care le
Die jiu die ba
I not scare anymore
Pain jiu pain lo
The more the better ba

And nowdays i keep on listening to songs
Even bathing
Aso listen to songs
When i hear songs which reminds us again
I cried again
2day spend a lot
Wanna change myself for tis new life
Wanna change a phone too
Cos tis phone remind of our memories
And i dun bear to del our msg and photos too
So i wanna get a phone
Hais

Fuck
Early in the morning
Quarrel wit my mum
Nag nag nag
I am so fucking stressed out in life
Can't u just gif me a break
Dun stress me up already
If not cos of my parents and family
I won be tryin my best to strong
I can be just selfish
Wan end my life jiu end
Hais
I noe i can't blame her
Cos she noe nth abt wad i feeling now
Even the pain i hab everyday
I cried everyday
Wad i did
She aso dunno
Hais
I aso cannot let her noe
i dun wanna add on my miserable to her
Hai

Fuck life
I need more sticks
8 sticks no enough
Gif me more

Hw long can i last?
How long can i wake up?
Hais~
Doing something to stop myself from thinkin of him
NUTs
I am goin nuts?
Hais

Saturday, November 1, 2008
11:34 AM

Wake up in the morning
Heartache to realise it is another day witout him
Though now i finally can get to slp le
But heart won be heal
I can swear tat
I
Lee Mei Ling Shirley
Will nv forget
Chia Tian Shun
No matter hw many steads i hab next time
There will be a space for him in my heart
He will hab permanent place in my heart
He is the only one i love the most right now
Is realli hard to find someone to replace him..
Hais~
But dunno wad am i to him ne?
Other gals can replace me?
He is my most precious

My friend wrote in his nick
Saying the one u love most is usually the one who hurts u most
I think is true ba
Last time i dun realli get much hurt
Onli till him
Maybe not me and him wanna hurt each other
Think is cos we tai zai yi each other le
So tak each other words very seriously
Boiboi
I really love u !
Hais

My Memories

July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009